26 February, 2015

Holiday diaries: Part 1

The reaction that I encountered when telling people I was going on holiday alone was varied. It ranged from pure jealousy and admiration to concerns about my well being.People asked me what I was going to do in another country all by myself, and simply the answer I came up with was, read and sleep. Whilst that was true I don't feel it was a satisfactory answer to account for a full week but it was the best answer I had. You see I didn't know either, but I had, and still have every faith in myself that I would be ok and it would be an adventure.

So welcome to the diary of my holiday. All by myself.

The airport didn't really phase me. The whole thing was pretty straight forward and I had duty free to focus on. This was when the first of the holidaying alone perks came in to play. I'd set myself an airport budget which I smashed through in the first 20 min, no one to judge me or tell me to slow down, I boarded the plane riding high on a shopping duty free buzz.
(Airport haul included 2 watches and an iPod.YEP)

Now I'm not one for sharing personal space, if I like you I have no personal space problems at all in fact I think I may actually be one of those touchy feel people however if you are a stranger I would like you at arms length please. Unfortunately Raynair does not accommodate such demands. I was shoe horned in next to a pleasant couple, by pleasant I mean quiet, however they drank a lot of water and couldn't seem to synchronise their peeing schedule. The flight was broken up by a few bouts of pretty heavy turbulence. I'm not bothered by this, partially down to my ignorance I assume turbulence is very normal and nothing bad would ever happen. What I do enjoy however is watching those freak out around me whilst they prepare for sudden death.

Arrived in Gran canaria bang on schedule and my case was one of the first off, obviously I had to stifle the desire to cheer. Finding my transfer coach was straight forward and felt pretty accomplished having made it to another country alone.
I Arrived at the hotel just before tea time and was shown to my room.
I may have neglected to mention this isn't the diary of a traveler slumming it in a hostel. I am a girl who, when booking this venture wanted all inclusive, heated pool, four star luxury. One because I've never had that before and two because I'm a bit of a wimp who wanted the safety and comfort of luxury.

My room, almost bigger than my house back home, was beautiful. Light and airy. The beds where the most comfortable I've ever slept in, the decor was minimalist but stylish and the shower was almost violent in its delivery. 
Apart from location and aesthetics I chose this hotel because it isn't a very English hotel. Being the social butterfly that I am I couldn't stand the though of making holiday small talk, especially because I feared it would be stemming from pity for the girl here alone. So I though I'd go to a hotel where, with a bit of luck I'd be the only English person, or at least in the minority. Well I certainly managed it.
I was rather chuffed with my execution of this plan until I went into the restaurant and realised nothing is written in English. This made eating here a little like a game.  However whilst the food was sometimes surprising it was always great so no problem at all really.

After eating and sampling the local wine I went on a short walk to check out the area.  The only way I can describe how I felt was comfortable, this is in no way a negative, I felt at home. I like being abroad. I like the warm nights with the sea air. I like the clash of cultures and mix of old and new. I like the way I feel in another world.

Being the party animal I am, all the traveling had taken it out of me and I headed back to my room early. 

I slept for 13 hours.

16 February, 2015

UPDATE 17: 2015

I started this year making some big changes. 2014 had been tough and 2013 had been pretty crappy too. I'd kind of got used to feeling a sense of disappointment, both with myself and my life. Then I realised something, it wasn't and earth shattering moment of clarity, the likes of which only happen in films. It was born out of frustration, loneliness and anger.
I realised I can't change things that are out of my control but I can change how I react, I don't have to be so passive in my own life. It's too short, I don't want to waste it. I don't want lies, I don't want words that never turn into actions, I don't want comfortable. I want more than that. I want to be happy, to do things, to like who I am. 

Yes it sounds very cliche, but I have always like cliches.

Something I've learnt over the past year, mainly due to the example of one amazing friend is that kindness is not weakness, another cliche.

So in the past month I've done a lot of thinking. I've realised how precious the people in my life are. I have a lot of good'uns. Just last week I received early Valentine's cards from some of my lovely friends, because they know I like the soppy shit and they knew it would make me smile, that's just one example of the many ways my friends are good, wired but amazingly good.

I sit writing this post not from cold rainy Blackpool but from poolside Gran canaria. I'd always fancied a holiday on my own, it was one of those things I'd said many times "I'd just like to get away for a week to the sunshine,a bit of exploring and a pile of good books". 
I thought maybe it was about time I took my own requests seriously. 
Something that seemed so big was really very simple. 
It's hot and peaceful,I can do what I want. When I arrived I slept for 13 hours, this morning I got lost exploring and now I'm sat writing postcards and drinking sangria. 
I made it here all by myself.